Dark Wings, Dork Words

Jon finds a cosmic loophole to get out of his oath to the Night's Watch.  Melisandre finds a new "Prince who was promised" to obsess over.  Ser Allister and Ollie find the end of a rope.  Tommen finds resolve to face the High Sparrow, then quickly gets spun around again.  Bran travels back to the Tower of Joy with the ghost of Christmas Past and witnesses an historic skirmish.  Sam finds a much-needed puke bucket.

Lord Balon Greyjoy: Dead.  Lord Roose Bolton: Dead. Lady Walda and the newborn heir to House Bolton: Dead.  Lord Commander of the Night's Watch Jon Snow: Alive.  A girl is: No One.  Tyrion Lannister pets some dragons.  King Tommen hugs his mother.  Bran watches a flashback to young Ned, Lyanna, Brandon and Hodor.  Mirra is bummed.  Yara is annoyed.  There's a kingsmoot comin' to the Iron Islands.

We're back in the thick of it, reconnecting with our old pals Ser Davos, Dolorous Ed, Ghost, Melisandre, Reek, Sansa, Brienne, Podrick, Ramsay, Roose, Cersei, Jaime, Margaery, The High Sparrow, Tyrion, Varys, Ser Jorah, Daario, and Daenerys... I think that's about everybody... Oh yea, and Jon Snow's corpse.  Still dead, so far.

Six, count 'em, Six established characters die in this episode.  Vengeful murder aplenty, with a dash of suicide.  And lots of cliffhanger moments for the survivors.

Stannis does something unspeakably terrible.  Things come to a head in Meereen at the opening of the fighting pits.  Prince Doran appears to accommodate Jaime and chastise Ellaria.  Jon returns to the wall with the wildlings but is greeted coldly by his brothers.  And in Braavos a girl defies her orders when she spies Ser Maryn Trant.

The Crow King and the wildlings face off against the army of the dead in spectacular fashion at Hardhome.  We witness Valyrian steel in action, see a Giant tearing up zombies left and right, and meet the Night King.  Elsewhere Sansa learns from Reek that Bran and Rickon live.  Cersei is not enjoying her stay in a dank cell.  Tyrion and Danerys have a nice chat over some wine, while Ser Jorah is cast out once again.  Meanwhile, in Braavos, a girl becomes an oyster shucker. 

Ser Jorah, the non-lethal gladiator, and Tyrion the lucky-to-be-alive, finally come face-to-face with Danerys, who does not seem pleased to see them.  Things are looking bleak for Sansa as she foolishly hopes Theon will help her escape Ramsay.  Jon and Tormund head out to hardhome.  Sam has a big episode, as he bids farewell to Maester Aemon, takes a beating defending Gilly, and is sweetly rewarded.

Arya excels at the fine art of corpse maintenance, Tyrion and Jorah share a bonding moment before they enter into bondage, Everyone in Dorne converges at the Water Gardens, and Sansa enters into unholy matrimony.

Jorah and Tyrion paddle their way across the ocean to the smoking doom of Valyria.  They spot Drogon flapping by when suddenly all the Grayscale foreshadowing comes to fruition with a stone men attack.  Danerys gets some random vengeance for Ser Barristan's death by feeding a Meerenese lord to the dragons.  She almost tosses Hizdahr on the fire as well, then she calms down and decides to marry him instead.  Sansa has a pretty unpleasant dinner party with the Boltons, and Jon makes nice with Tormund.

Ser Barristan demonstrates that his vaunted reputation as one of the greatest warriors in the Seven Kingdoms is well-deserved. Unfortunately after kicking ass and saving Grey Worm from the Sons of the Harpy, he is slain, somewhat undercutting his legend. This death on the show is all the more shocking since Ser Barristan has yet to be killed off in the books. More than anything else this season, it really feels like we're entering uncharted territory, and it's exciting. This episode also lays the groundwork for R+L=J in a more explicit way than the books ever have, or ever will, most likely. It really looks like the show is ready to go there, which is pretty exciting.