Dark Wings, Dork Words

Season 7 Episode 03: The Queen's Justice

Jon arrives at Dragonstone, where he comes face-to-face with Daenerys.  She wants him to bend the knee.  Jon asks for help to fight the Night King and the Army of the Dead.  Daenerys is baffled.  Melisandre skips town, but says "I'll be back".  Bran arrives at Winterfell and creeps Sansa the fuck out.  Euron delivers his prize to Cersei, who indicates they can marry once they win the war.  Cersei gives Tyene a poisok Kiss and condemns Ellaria to watch her die. Jorah demonstrates his remarkable recovery from his grayscalectomy. The Archmaester gives Sam a pile of busy work as his reward.  Grey Worm and the Unsullied capture a barely-defended Casterly Rock, while Euron sinks their fleet. Jaime captures Highgarden with the bulk of the Lannister forces and Randyl Tarly's men. Jamie allows Olenna to die painlessly from poison, but she gets the last word.

Season 7 Episode 02: Stormborn

Daenerys sends the sea snakes on Yara's fleet to gather the forces of Dorne, sends the Unsullied to attack Casterly Rock and plans a siege of King's Landing. She has a heart-to-heart with Varys, warning him to be more honest and loyal than he has proved to past Kings.  Melisandre shows up to pitch her flexible prophecy. Grey Worm and Missandei share a touching, and naked, farewell. Cersei tries to woo the bannermen of Highgarden to her side to repel the foreign invaders. Qyburn invents the ballista. Arya visits Hot Pie and discovers that Jon is King in the North. Jon leaves for Dragonstone in hopes of getting Daenerys's support against the White Walkers, and access to the Dragonglass mine.  He leaves Sansa in charge after punching Littlefinger in the dick. Sam performs a gross and painful grayscalectomy on Jorah.  Brutal pirate action on the high seas when Euron's fleet attacks Yara's, and we're treated to a thrilling sequence that wipes several more players off the board.

Season 7 Episode 01: Dragonstone

Seven be praised, Game Of Thrones is back and so are we!  The new season kicks off with a killer cold open featuring Arya, followed by a lot of table setting.  We get a good look at where are the surviving major characters are and what their motivations are.  Jon, Sansa, Littlefinger, Tormund, Brienne and Pod at Castle Black.  Oh yeah, and Bran and Meera arrive there as well.  Bran's reunion with his siblings didn't make the cut this week, but surely we'll see that next time.  Cersei and Jamie have an uneasy discussion in the Queen's new map/courtyard, then enjoy an audience with Euron Greyjoy.  Sam spends an eternity cleaning chamber pots and sloshing stew for the maesters in Old Town, but finally sneaks a look at the restricted section. The episode closes out with Daenerys and her armada arriving at Dragonstone, on Westerosi soil at last.  Shall we begin?

Season 6 Episode 10: The Winds of Winter

The season ends with a bang as the High Sept of Baelor gets blown up wildfire style.  Cersei takes the Iron Throne after wiping out all her enemies.  Tommen goes emo and takes a plunge.  Dany dumps Daario, makes Tyrion Hand of the Queen, and departs with her fleet.  Arya shows off her faceless girl skills and wipes Walder Frey off her list.  Varys pops up to recruit Dorne and Highgarden to Dany's cause.  The North is moved by Lady Mormont to name Jon the King in the North.  Littlefinger sulks.  Bran has a vision confirming Jon's true parentage.

Season 6 Episode 09: Battle of the Bastards

Epic.  Jon leads his coalition of loyal troops to face off against the Boltons in a last ditch effort to reclaim Winterfell, and just about everybody dies in the ensuing battle.  Too bad Rickon never learned to serpentine.  Littlefinger's Army of the Vale swoops in at the last possible second to save the lives of Jon and Tormund.  Wun Wun is felled by arrows after smashing open Winterfell's gate.  Ramsay comes to regret starving his hounds.  Oh and Dany and her dragons get the best of the Masters of Slaver's Bay.  They are careful to not burn all the boats.  Then Yara and Theon pop up to make a deal.

Season 6 Episode 08: No One

Arya graduates early from Faceless Man U.  The Hound joins the Brotherhood without Banners.  Jaime achieves a bloodless coup at Riverrun.  Brienne fails in her mission to recruit the Blackfish, but gets to keep Oathkeeper as a consolation prize.  Bronn plays grab-ass with Pod.  Tommen takes trial by combat off the table.  Qyburn and Cersei have a lead on a useful rumor.

Season 6 Episode 07: The Broken Man

The Hound returns, and chops lots of wood.  Jaime puts some Freys in their place by taking over their pitiful siege.  The Blackfish is unimpressed.  Edmure Tully is grateful to not be hanged.  Yara tells Theon he needs to man up.  Sansa, Jon and Davos start recruiting troops to take back Winterfell.  Arya runs afoul of the Waif.

Season 6 Episode 06: Blood of My Blood

Sam and Gilly find no thrill up on Horn Hill, but they do come away with some valyrian steel.  The High Sparrow gains the upper hand, with Tommen sitting in the palm.  Exit Hodor, enter Coldhands.  Dany appeals to her base by demonstrating her riding skills.

Season 6 Episode 05: The Door

No more Hodor.  But wow, there was great Night King & White Walkers vs. Children of the Forest action.  Sansa gives Littlefinger a verbal smackdown, then hatches a plan to retake the North with Jon.  The Kingsmoot happens.  Jorah and Dany share a touching moment.

Season 6 Episode 04: Book of the Stranger

I'm afraid there's a drop in the audio quality of this one, but it's still listenable.  Lots to talk about.  Jon Snow doesn't even step foot out of Castle Black before Sansa arrives to pull him back in.  Brienne tells Melisandre and Ser Davos of Stannis' fate.  Margaery pays Loras a visit, who is not faring well in his cell.  Cersei and Jaime come to terms with Lady Olenna and Ser Kevan.  Ramsay pulls off another despicable act, and that's a wrap on Osha.  Theon gets a chilly homecoming.